Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
