So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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