If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
How external is "for external use only"?
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
We were destined to go to rehab together
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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