his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Randomize
