If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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