she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Randomize
