he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
