He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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