After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
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pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
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All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.