areolas are like halos for boobs.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
21 Distraught People Found Out They Had An STD
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
21 Ladies Reveal The Sexiest Thing A Man Can Do In A Public Setting
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there