why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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