well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
