I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
