Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Randomize
