Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
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