was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
