yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
