the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
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Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
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