Dual....:-)
I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Randomize
