we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
