did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
Randomize
