Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
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