Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
i just wanna soil my oats bro
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize
