JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize
