rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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