their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
