There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
