i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
Randomize
