It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Randomize
