I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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