whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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