dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
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