I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
