Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
