im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
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