it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Randomize
