what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
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