why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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