I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize
