i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
