My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
