People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I think my fart just growled at me.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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