The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
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