We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize