I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday