I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
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