Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?