just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
