Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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