our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
