I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
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