He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
