I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
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