wanna go halves on a baby?
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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