I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
