wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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